A eulogy is a beautiful way to share the life and legacy of someone who passes away. These steps will help you commemorate the memories to capture the meaning of their life that reflects who there were and what they believed and live for. We'll provide you with steps, samples, quotes and tips so you know what to expect as you embark on writing this eulogy.
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech delivered in remembrance of someone who just died given to their family members, close friends, acquaintances and/or colleagues during a funeral service or memorial. They are stories, anecdotes delivered by either one person or a group of people honouring a loved one’s passing by reflecting on their past accomplishments and the meaning they brought to others' lives.
How to Write a eulogy
Writing a eulogy can be overwhelming and stressful under the circumstances of facing the loss of someone near and dear to you. You have the challenging task to keep a loved one's legacy alive. But there is power in these authentic moments, as your primary objective is to bring comfort to family and friends who share the desire to keep their memory alive.
A genuine and authentic eulogy comes from an open heart. If you need help getting there just book a grief session and we'll help you get there. We've also chunked things down into 7 simple bite-size and manageable steps.
7-Step Guide to Writing a Eulogy
Writing a sincere eulogy is one of the most meaningful things you can do not to just honour them, but to inspire yourself and others to get the most out of life.
How Long Should A Eulogy Be?
The average eulogy is 5 to 10 minutes long. Your objective is to grasp and share the essence of their life, by capturing their values, personality and charter along with the stories and memories that would honour their place in the world.
To keep it simple we outlined the steps below.
What Should I Include In A Eulogy?
A eulogy is meant to be as unique as them.
- A brief overview of their life
- Detail about their family (Ex: Their parents & their kids)
- Life and career milestones (Interests, hobbies, volunteering, associations)
- Favourite memories and stories
- Words of wisdom they shared or things they referenced
Step 1. Collect Memories & Stories
Determine the intrinsic values that drove their life by answering the following:
- What did they spend their time on?
- What energized them?
- How did they spend their money? (Ex: If the biggest expense was a mortgage and kids' education, they had a high value on the family)
- What did they talk about in social settings?
Create a timeline of their significant life moments
- When and where did they get married
- When they had children (Their age and the cities, and houses they lived in at that time)
- Careers and jobs
- Hobbies and past times
- Their favourite spots
- Travels and expeditions
- Community and volunteer work
- Read old letters, emails, and text messages
- Review photo albums and family videos
Interview other family members and friends to gather ideas to develop an overarching theme of their life.
- Ask them how they think the deceased would like to be remembered
- Ask them about their fondest memories or experiences they shared together
- Heartwarming stories they shared or witnessed
- Ask about what hobbies you saw the partake in over the years
- What books, music, tools, and places they loved
- Brainstorm together what adjectives best described their personality
2. Write a meaningful eulogy
You were chosen because you played a significant role in the departed life and have a gift for this unique situation. Reflect on the meaningful connection you shared and remember you are not alone on this, utilize the people and our team here at Greifopeida to guide and aid you through this.
Focus on progress over perfection, an open heart can capture the essence greater than a Pulitzer prize-winning document.
- 5–10 minutes speech
- 750–1,000 words
- Focus on what's important
- Read & refine (Write and step away it's an emotional time)
- Write for the deceased, and bring out their character as if they were reflecting on their own life so they could find meaning regardless of how they died.
- Reflect on treasured memories to keep their stories alive.
- When editing, do not lose sight of the milestones and memories that mattered.
3. Practice Out Loud or To Someone
One of the greatest superpowers in the world is public speaking. Many people are afraid of it. We've included a few tips and pointers. As writing is the first half, delivery is the second.
- Practice out loud, then with someone who will provide constructive feedback.
- Ask for feedback on clarity, comprehension and cadence.
- Time yourself, don't read too fast or too slow
- Is it par to represent someone's life?
- Read and refine based on constructive criticism.
4. Read & Refine
Edit and refine until you feel comfortable that this could be delivered to a group of your and the deceased peers. Keep it warm, family-oriented and professional.
5. How To Deliver A Eulogy On The Day Of The Memorial Service
Saying goodbye can be a stressful and emotional day. Just remember you are there because you were chosen to help commemorate the life and memory of another individual.
When delivering your speech pause and slow it down. Take a breath prior and focus on delivering the essence of the message. Be sure to pause and allow for the audience to have moments of introspection. Some of them may have travelled a long distance, had a unique relationship or may speak another langue than the one you're delivering it in. Just know you don't have to rush it.
The fear of public speaking comes over everyone at times. Remember if you were going to deliver the speech in front of some grade 1 children you would have no problem. So reflect and identify the person who it is you are nervous about giving it in front of.
Eat well and stay hydrated in the coming days, people will look towards you to set the tone of whether it is a celebration of life or an emotional affair.
6. Take no credit and take no blame
Take no credit and take no blame, stay focused on the aim of sharing thank you and I love you. Be sure of yourself, and remember this is the day to honour the life and memory of a loved one.
7. Live A Life That Leaves A Legacy
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ― Marcus Aurelius,
Utilize this experience to develop yourself. You were meant to give this speech as a gift and reminder from the deceased. This experience will be as much for you as it will be for them and all the friends and family gathered to celebrate their life.
Take this experience to live a life well lived. As you'll only regret the things you didn't do vs the things you did.
We're here to help if you or a loved one is struggling with the following:
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Dissolve the emotional charge of the grief and loss of a loved one, this consultation will help you dissolve the grief and loss you are perceiving. If you or someone you care about is struggling with the following. Contact us we're here to help.
- Fear of death
- Sense of loss
- Fear of public peaking
Sample Eulogy For Wife
"Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you." - Shannon L. Alder
Dear family and friends,
Today we gather to remember and celebrate the life of a beloved wife, who has left us too soon. She was a woman who radiated joy and happiness, and her love for life was infectious. She had a passion for dancing, singing, and playing with kids, and she brought laughter and light to everyone around her.
As a wife, she was a true partner and companion, always by her husband's side through thick and thin. She loved her family deeply and was a devoted mother to her children. Her love for her family was expressed through her boundless energy and enthusiasm for life.
She had a heart filled with kindness, and her love for children was evident in the way she played with them and made them feel special. She had a talent for music and loved to sing and dance, always finding joy in the simplest things in life.
She touched the lives of everyone she met, and her spirit will live on in the memories we shared with her. Her legacy will be felt through her children, who carry her love and zest for life with them.
As we mourn her passing, we also celebrate the wonderful memories we shared with her. We will remember her as a woman who lived life to the fullest, who danced and sang with abandon, and who loved with all her heart.
Rest in peace, dear wife, and know that you will always be loved and remembered. Thank you for the gift of your presence in our lives, and for the joy and love that you brought into our world.
We love you, and we will miss you dearly.
Sample Eulogy For Grandfather
"Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt
Dear family and friends,
Today we gather here to remember and honour the life of a beloved grandfather, who has passed away. Our hearts are heavy with sorrow, but we also celebrate the wonderful memories we shared with him.
As a grandfather, he was a pillar of strength and wisdom, always there to offer guidance and support. He had a kind and gentle soul, and a heart filled with love for his family. His laughter was contagious and his smile could light up a room. He was a man of integrity and humility, and he lived his life with grace and dignity.
He taught us many valuable lessons in life, and we will always cherish the memories of his stories and words of wisdom. His love for his family was unwavering, and his presence in our lives will be deeply missed.
As we mourn his loss, we take comfort in the fact that he lived a life filled with purpose, and he touched the lives of many people. His legacy will live on through the memories we shared with him, and the values he instilled in us.
We will miss our grandfather dearly, but we will always remember him with love and fondness. Rest in peace, dear grandfather, and know that you will always hold a special place in our hearts.
Thank you for everything you have given us, and for being the wonderful grandfather that you were.
Sample Eulogy for A Brother
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dear family and friends,
We gather here today to say goodbye to a man who was much more than just a brother. He was a mentor, a teacher, a friend, and a father figure to his younger siblings. He loved his children fiercely, and he had a passion for working with his hands and building things. He was a man who understood the universal laws of the world, and he shared his knowledge with anyone who was willing to listen.
As the eldest of three siblings, he took on the role of big brother with ease. He taught his younger brother and sister many things, from how to ride a bike to the secrets of the universe. He had a gift for explaining complex concepts in a way that was both understandable and entertaining.
He loved nothing more than spending time with his children, teaching them the same skills he had learned from his own father. He would spend hours building treehouses and birdhouses, and he loved watching his kids' faces light up with joy and wonder.
His understanding of the universe was second to none, and he was always eager to share his knowledge with others. He believed in the power of the universe and its ability to guide us on our journey through life. He was a man who lived his life with purpose, and he inspired those around him to do the same.
As we say goodbye to him today, we remember him as a man who was full of life, love, and laughter. He had a wicked sense of humour and could make anyone laugh, even in the toughest of times. He was a man who lived life on his own terms, and he left an indelible mark on everyone he met.
We will miss him dearly, but we take comfort in the fact that his legacy lives on through his children and the memories we shared with him. Rest in peace, dear brother, and know that you will always be loved and remembered.
Thank you for the laughter, the love, and the memories. You will always hold a special place in our hearts.
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